A Credible Commision


Secret Agent’s occasionally require R&R to release

the pressure of trying to save the planet and other impossible missions.

Today my assignment should I choose to accept it, will be to empty the puddles which will probably take all day.

I cite the present downpour.

My back-up cell phone galoshes are hidden in the spine of my briefcase in case I get in over my head.

Brisk trades press against me as I step out into the chill 78-degree air, middle-aged pinky hoisted high to test for squalls then belly flop into the big pond like a hippo wearing a tutu, causing a tidal wave to be unleashed.

That pond being the first puddle on my list.

I ignore the South American Pacu who seems distressed and note that there may be some fish fallout.

I have disguised myself in a favorite pair of striped green PJ’s complete with a khaki swim cap and yellow galoshes. So am invisible to them.

The chief takes notes, as he watches from above.

Several hours pass, and I am still stressed-out.

I persist with the debriefing until nightfall, skipping lunch and happy hour

until Agent 99 comes and drags my weary ass inside.

Marching me upstairs to a bubbling hot tub

where my face and fingers can cavort in the wet wind.

Research tomorrows mission on how and when to spy on the neighbor’s cats.

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