True Friends


Elephant on Safari in Kenya
Elephant on Safari in Kenya (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

True Friends

Friends come in all shapes and sizes

they speak up

when you least expect it

encourage you to be better,

read your writing

in spite of their better judgment

save you a seat at the lunch counter

when they could just as well

have let someone more interesting sit next to them

Someone who could’ve inspired them

to quit hording the damn chocolate-chip cookies

drink more water

and write the GREAT all-American novel already

The one that extolls the virtues of

boy meets girl, or to expand on that

boy meets girl who meets boy,  who meets boy  with a dog, who meets the meat man

who is connected to one of the big box stores

and knows the butcher by his first name

and goes on to start a hamburger chain in Kenya

where they feed EVERYONE  BEEF and make a million friends, get married, have kids

who don’t appreciate anything, but discover the cure for cancer while working in the outback in Australia after they got kicked out of the African hut.

and then they all get back together again in twenty-five years to sing Kumb-bay-ah

vs.

the short history of biodegradable detergent

or SOAP; a study in bubble manufacturing

depicted in an old west town named SUDS where the locals form an anti-soap coalition

waging war on scum

that leads to hiring a cute plumber who has

a secret fetish for filthy water

and for one dollar three eighty

also trains in leg and foot massage  after hours

with the Vietnamese boy at the local Nail Salon.

Flower ART available.  Later on it gets a little squeaky and there’s lots of wrinkled skin

and before you know it Noah sails in on his ARK and says OI-WEH!  WHO KNEW?  This kind of flood, does it come with insurance?

And wouldn’t you know the Elephants with their long schnazola’s are picketing!

Meaningful gritty Lava soap friendships

for those times

when last night’s  party just

won’t stop repeating on you

and when Aunt Jane’s breath

reminds you of

a dumpster

that just tipped over on itself

and the only thing on TV

is DOOMSDAY PREPPERS.

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