call it whatever you want
I Don’t Eat Meat!
I woke up the other day
thinking I knew
WHAT I was.
I was wrong.
I got an education in
the many types of vegetarianism
It is more complicated than I thought
apparently I’m NOT ONE
nope– none of the above.
I actually thought I might be a Pescatarian
for half a minute
but I’m NOT that either
Sound frustrating?
All I know is
that I don’t have any health problems
bleeding hemorrhoids
indigestion
or weight gain.
I exercise
I take my vitamins and
occasionally when the dust bunnies
threaten mutiny
I even vacuum.
I love Netflix
and frozen juice bars
peanut M&M’s
banana smoothies
salads, stuffed Portobello mushrooms
kale
and macaroni—of any kind
Actually I could live on the stuff.
Tofu is okay
Soy or bust
beans and peas and lentils
and curry and tacos and salsa
and fish and eggs and cheese
and ice-cream
gotta have that!
Life wouldn’t be worth living
without my ice-cream
and dark chocolate.
So WHAT I am– is not even
close to a vegetarian
nope not at all
I just don’t eat meat.
I don’t color
inside no stinking lines
neither.
So call me whatever you want
I’ll still be blessed
with the right combination of
genes
locale and
skills.
Go roll that
in your
Űber hoity toity degree
and smoke it!
Corney Press 