Attack Of the Dust Bunnies

This is Captain Alpha calling General Omega.

Come in, over.

 We are under attack.

Hold on, General, they’ve mutated.

And the DB’s are teeming with antibiotic-resistant bacteria.

Forget the antimicrobials.

They’ve blanketed the entire eastern sector.

They have hunkered down in the dark places. Yes, the encampment is widespread. Our advance team has spotted the woolly detritus inside the clothes closet, beneath the master bed, and under the couch.

Repeat, we are under attack.

They’ve commandeered the TV. 

And now they’re attacking the computer and the other electronics.

We are requesting a backup stat. Repeat, we need Rambo.  

General, the lint leader, is monstrous. It would put a sumo wrestler to shame.

And I just spied a hairpiece with large gray biceps. 

And a bearded spiderweb. 

I’m eyeballing dust mite troops into the thousands.

Sir, the enemy has just formed a static clump and is challenging to overpower our industrial Swiffer.

We are on the front line, General. 

Yes, confirmed, the enemy hunkered down in the corner between the book stacks.

Negative, sir, nothing has been pardoned, not even the care bears in the spare room.

Affirmative, General, hope is a relative term.

Yes, sir, we’ve received the Zyrtec and the gasmasks.  

We are going in.

This is Alpha, over, and out.

1/9/26