Good Morning America


Good Morning Starbucks

Venti me

I’m going for the bypass tomorrow.

I woke up today, and my size twelve turned into a four

and I can’t get the zipper up.

I may need EMS to resuscitate me

from the latest god-dammed war

that’s killing all of our boys

And I’m asking MR. President

is this the price of overpopulation?

I want off this rollercoaster

I want healthcare that doesn’t penalize you

for not having it. I want healthcare

that is affordable and accessible.

Good Morning America

I need a Zen moment

a place to exhale

all the garbage from my black lungs

coughed up in the trenches of foreign wars

because my credit just went down the tubes

needs a little gold to

prevent my guts

from being blown up in a chopper

in a bombed out country

that hires kids as mercenaries.

Hey, America!

Stop the bullshit

the soap opera propaganda.

Don’t you see that we are all citizens of the same planet?

Good Morning America

Let’s toast our Statue of Liberty

before China calls in her note

before the oceans are smothered in plastic and

NASA reaches a final destination.

We need a plan.

We need to resurrect Spock

have him beam down

and give us the logical answer

before the Alien High Council sends us to a frozen prison planet.

Good Morning America

Today is the day

we resurrect the ancient aliens

the ones who designed the stone monoliths

that clutter our planet like *Burma Shave ads for space travel.

Collector’s Magnets for freaks

from a far off galaxy

who will surely calculate the odds

of contracting the human infection

inoculating their crews

for a close encounter of a shitty kind.

Good Morning America

we are being consumed by

a malfunction in the earth’s atmosphere

we are bankrupt OCD and arrogant

and our time is running out.

Pardon me Mr. Speaker

excuse my partisan ass

but we were wondering

when the high and mighty on capital hill

will get off their collective agendas

Because we are tired of swallowing

your terms of engagement

and we’re not going to finance them, anymore.

 

 * Burma-Shave was an American brand of brushless shaving cream, famous for its advertising gimmick of posting humorous rhyming poems on small sequential highway roadside signs.

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