Aren’t we great?
Good Morning, Starbucks!
Venti Me!
I’m going for the bypass tomorrow.
I woke up today and
all my size tens turned into fourteens
and I can’t get the zipper up.
I need EMS to resuscitate me
from the god-dammed fake news
that’s polarizing the populace
and I’m asking Mr. President
what is it all for?
I want off the rollercoaster
I want Opie and Andy
to call I Love Lucy
and tell her that
Ricky is her soul mate
that Ethel is skinny and Fred eats liver pate.’
Good Morning America
I need a Zen moment
a place to exhale all the garbage
from my black lungs
coughed up in the trenches
of foreign wars
because my credit
needs a banker to
prevent my cash from being
blown up in the chopper
in a bombed-out country
that hires kids as mercenaries.
Good Morning America!
We need a plan.
We need Mr. Spock
to beam down
and give us the logical
answer, before the Alien High Council
sends us to a frozen prison planet.
because no one here is exempt.
Good Morning America!
Let’s toast our Statue of Liberty
one last time, before the brute
calls in his note.
Before the polar icecap melts,
the climate stops flustering and
before Voyager reaches its final destination.
Good Morning America
Today is the day
we resurrect GOD
meet those ancient aliens
who designed the giant stone monoliths
that litter the planet
like a Burma Shave ad for space travel.
Magnetic
to foreign collectors
from a far-off galaxy
who will surely
calculate the odds
of contracting the human infection
and inoculate their crew
for a close encounter of a shitty kind.
Good Morning America
We are being consumed by rhetoric
and our time is running out.
Pardon me
Excuse my partisan ass
Mr. Speaker but
America is Great, but fresh out of tolerance
and we were wondering
when you people on Capitol Hill
will get up off your rich collective butts
and do what you were elected for
which is to speak for the people
because we are tired of swallowing
your sovereign agendas
and we’re not going to be quiet anymore.
Corney Press 