The law of averages for chickens on a scale from 1-10 is a six.
That’s how many years they get to live
to roam free in your backyard or on the range
Chances are high if owned by big corporations
Their eggs will be taken and sent to a reform school
to fend for themselves
become educated in the ways of the world
Adding another irresponsible link to the food chain.
So, if you think
Life has dealt you
A bad hand
Consider the average chicken
A could-be cackler
who comes from a broken home
because their mom split.
She’s the extra crunchy breast at KFC
The hot wings at Hooters
The juicy thighs at Popeye’s
And she’s not coming back.
And she never did say who your father was?
For all you know
It’s that rooster
Foghorn Leghorn, who just got thrown out of
Summer chicken stock
for poorly recounting the
“To Be or Not To Be” soliloquy.
And the only thing
You have left to show in your phoenix claws is
A cryptic message
Your cousin Ginger, a crazy biker chick
Showed you when you were three
and playing doctor in front of that billboard
That later scared the Jesus right out of you.
Although you’re not sure why
The message that haunts you to this day,
“Americans consume nine billion chickens a year.”
Cornelia DeDona 11/30/25
Corney Press 