Have you ever tried to train an angry German?
I mean successfully.
It isn’t easy.
I failed at Lie Down and Rollover
Even though the course was repeated umpteen x’s infinity and beyond.
To me, it was a matter of principle.
Tommy may have won the battle but to me this was war.
I was in for life.
I had nothing to lose.
And being eleven years younger, nothing but time.
Besides the things I excelled at got me through.
Courses like:
Hiding In Plain Sight
Staring Down the Enemy While Keeping your Eyes Down
The Puppet Speaks
Work Like an Animal
The kind of intense training where nobody wins changes your brain.
As much as I wanted to hate him for being so controlling, ignoring boundaries, and loving himself more than anyone on the planet, I also felt sorry for him.
Playing GOD and Soul Crushing comes at a steep price.
I’d think how lonely he must be up on top of Mt. Everest, he was so high even Jesus couldn’t reach him. I tried but
He’d laugh and say, Stupid Shouldn’t Think.
I was so damaged; I’d just watch in awe and terror and wait for a misstep.
Steeling myself more and more against the constant onslaught
Thinking back years later, after I finally left,
after ten + years of talk therapy.
Despite how awful it really was,
Imagine what that did to the kids.
Corney Press 