Hilda


was such a bloody bore
not cancerous
but a royal pain in the butt
I tried to quietly endure
Shush now Hilda.
The stress is almost over.

So dramatic
always gushing
apparently, she didn’t have enough color in her diet
such a flood from one
so dehydrated.

In fact, Hilda refused to stop
her anal ways
felt attacked
when the doctor told her to cut back
on the ice-cream
cheese
groan, chocolate.

Poor damaged Hilda
so emphatic
cited the colonoscopy
as the final straw
causing her to spew
so profusely.
Doesn’t she understand
that Doctor knows best
now he has to operate
to get her to stop
being so damned bloody.

I suppose the surgeon
and she will tie it together
finally,
giving her a chance
to sit pain-free
perhaps have Dr. Oz inspect her
bowel movements

enabling her to alter her condition

take new pride
in scribbling her S’s.
Her flare-ups
soothed briefly
by the unflappable
Hazel, a witch,
who comes highly recommended.

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